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[12:14pm @> 02042007] |
I only come on for communites now.
So don't expect anything =P
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[10:32pm @> 11162006] |
y'no when you think "things are gonna be great,from now on,thing'll change,and for the damn better",and then.Just as youre getting the hang of things,getting better,improving,trying harder,pusher yourself to change things.And then it turns out,all the work youve done just ends up one bif fucking lie.And your so let down by evreything,and you know you can try even harder to change things,but whats the point? if your trying so hard to change somthing and it dosn't even help,then why try agian? what if it all jsut happens agian and youre stuck on your own,with your mum and dad helping you,and your best friends leing behind youre back,and i mean,you don't know if there lying but,evreything all adds up to them lieing.So youre screwed and you can't win,and things are gonna get worse and i know,what gose around,comes around,but it feels as if this is gonna continue for so long,i guess theres always one bit of hope,things might improve,who knows,no really who fucking dose theese days? all people care about is themselves completely.All you care about is yourself,and its not as if you care about me anyway,youre so wraped up in that one bit of attention you need,you decide to drop the firends you thoguht were there for you.So don't come crawling back to me with your problems,cause ive decided i dont give a fucking damn,dammit.
I dont even know why i bother worrying about people so much,it seems as if i worry about them,and i give all my hope,and my trust indo them and they leave me,yet agian,and im not jsut saying this,but ive helped alot of people and what do i get back in return? a fcuknig punch back in the face from you.Is it beacause im not trendy enoguh for you? if it cause i do things diffrently from you? id it because,youre useing me to climb up the ladder to get more firends? jsut so you can say ''oh i have people that love me,care for me,beg for my attention" well the truth is,i dont want to follow you arround anymore like some sad little pup.I wont do it,to know im like youre pity-full little followers claimnig for your attention just beacause youre funny,tbh you DONT have problems so why are you worrying so much dammit? you have a whole fan club of people chasing for your attention,evreyone loves you,so why do you choose me? of all people to use,you know im a fucking nervous wreck,and i cant barley keep thinknig straight,but you decide to make me feel worse mhm? that's your plan,and i dont wanna be part of it.So you can take my friends,take my happiness away,but rember i trusted you,and now i know,your worthless
Hes always been the closest one to me,hes always been there,even if he is an alchoholic,even if he is a stupit idiot some times,hes the only one i can talk to me,and i know that weve got somthing stronger between us than any of my family,i dont know why,but i have such a bond with him,and ive always tried to make him porud,and to know hes so dissapointed in me,and it just,brings me down so much beacuase i want him to be pround of me,to be able to say "shes my daughter,and im so fucking proud of her" instaid of being the one who he is so disspointed in he wont look at me properly anymore,it hurts like hell.I want him to be proud of me,i want to be the one he's thankfull for,and i know his brother died just before i died and he cnhanged but,i jsut.I love him so much,i want to make him proud,i really do.
I don't know why i wrote this, cause i just feel even more shit.
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[6:00pm @> 10022006] |
i hate how
its
mhm
forget it.
ugh.
aybe
i just
i only need them 3,i dont need you...
and i dont need him either
dont know why i thought that
forget it.
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[4:52pm @> 09202006] |
i dont want to talk to you
and when i do you jsut walk away
youre moved off my top 8 aswell.
i think you should give evreyoen a break
all you care about is yourself,
and your stupit fucking music taste
im sick of you..
you dont realise youve hrut me so much,so you can gtf =/
and you you say were close and then fuck off,youre moved aswelll,
aye fs i just
i cant put up with you for lying to me
i hate you.
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[6:42pm @> 09122006] |
I s'pose evreyone pure ranty just now, and evreyone just,
Has to be there for each other i 'pose.
And i mean i cant say that cause,im going to have a rant:
I hate the fact i was used all summer,
and my whole summer was ruined ,
beacause im ''rude'' ''shy''
well duh fucks sake,its not me,and i wont change,
and ive opend my eyes to you,and ive saw what a
horrible person you are,and how you piss me off,
Just by talking,laugihng,looking ar you.
And it may be drastic,but still,reallly,
i even delted you from msn and myspace,
i despise you that much,so id rather you,
Didnt hang around near us,
dont make blunt converstaion,and just get on with it,
beacuase im not even going to make a proper effort,
cause your'e the one who should,
my cofnidence was shatterd ffor a while cause of this;
but now ive became stronger and i can stand up for myself,
i can somtimes even laugh things off.
So theres somwhat so many things
i coudl tell you,and tell you to fuck off in big words,
but i wont,cause im not that shallow and ''rude''
=]
so fuck you.
I needed that pretty muchly,but i have more =]:
you act liek your teh queen of fcuking evreyone,
and as if your the more pefect and amazing person,
no one is perfect fucks sake,
and how you can move on,and drop people
as if were all fucking flies,
so either way,i really do love you,
i mean your amazing but i jsut wish you would
stop acting liek yoru the queen.
And also;your not that much of an amazign singer
and evreyone makes you out to be,
so shut yer piehole love
So aye im all out of ranting =]
im on my old msn anoll
sake i hate msn
Merr
Hazel X
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[6:15pm @> 09042006] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gah |
] |
well.
=]
fuck oyu.
please?
im sick of you treating me like utter shit
and im not sayign just you
most of you
thanks for not caring
and i relaise
i have no one,agian
i have no proper friends the smae age as me.
and i think ill jsut ask my mum to move me schools
fs.
ogjkhhf thanls.
i really do feel GREAT.
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[5:37pm @> 08192006] |
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you said if i needed help you would be there
but tbh no oen really is there anymore
only one person.
and im so fucking ill,
i have to stand and type cause sittings pure agony.
evreyone has totally just forgot.
and i dunno.
maybe its not even worth bothering anymore
jsut gettign away and never comnig back,
righti know thats pure mo as fuck but
all that i just said is true
i want to get away from here forever.
i don't even know.
Hazel x
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[6:51pm @> 08162006] |
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Well,
today was good igot to spend tiem with lady gee and emma
and i feel so
happy wghen im around with them and stuff.
I miss people though
like courtney alot,
she kelps me and i just need ehr like
we need to go to thee libary and all that jazz
and then.
I miss georgia,
so much.Like alot but,
but is allways the lip trembling thing where
you stop and think which i just done,
i also sighed
but im scared of whats going to happen
im scared to move on
im scared to say ''forget it hazel,forget it kid''
and i cant blaim evreyone for not saying anything
and i jsut feel so sick right now,
things are abit fucked up and,
i dont want to go on living like this
i want to move on,start somthing new,
meet new people,
but i want to go back,
to what was when i had somone,
i had a little group
but now,
its not even worth going on
i just wish,
she wouldnt lie to me,
i wish she wouldnt eb so happy
and i know theres somthing up
i know somthings going to happen
and the group is going to fall apart
like it already has started,
so i just feel so mhm.
I cant move on,
im scared,
im jsut worried.
i just wish somthing good would happpen,
So yeah...
Hazel x
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[10:05pm @> 08072006] |
i miss my emma.
gah
evreyones being so stubbor nand
''OMG BEST PALSLSLSLSAWDNDFHSRHDFSSFSFS !111"2DF#HFH###''
and its annoying :[
i miss georgia aswell.
evreyones like ''oh i miss her SO much'''
howd you think i feel you twats.
UGH.
=/
its like.
i dotn want to go,
stop asking
stop saying
stop bragging
stop fucking talking to me about it
tbh,i dotn care if you haa good time.
i just
you dont care
id jsut be left myself anyway
seriously
gosh.
=[
mer
i feell iek a twat
ignore evreything i jsut said.
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